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FRIDAY, 28 FEBRUARY 2008
MyMovies.Net Update
Hello there again! Lost are we? Well, if it's informed
and exciting movie news you're after then you've come to
the wrong place but if you fancy an irreverent look at
the inner trappings of La La Land then read on my
film-loving buddy.
 This
week I found myself in a compromising situation with
Jason Statham...compromising insofar as I
was sitting opposite the "Lock, Stock.." star and asking
civil questions about his latest caper - "The
Bank Job" (and believe me, with my
self-esteem issues as they are just being in the same
room as anyone is often compromising!). "The
Bank Job" is your typical heist movie only
briefly enlivened by the odd bit of cockney banter
between Statham and co. - a solid watch but nothing to
write home about (indeed 'writing' is probably the less
fared means of communication for such a flick - this
feels more like a conjugal visit type thing). As ever -
take a butchers at the pic to your left for the
interview. Bosh.
 I
often like to daydream about the career trajectories of
certain Hollywood types. For example, my theory for one
Uma Thurman goes like this....in her younger
years she clearly must have made a pact with the Devil
(or
Quentin Tarantino as he is known on this
earthly plane) and then failed to read the small print
when the cooler than cucumber roles started to dry up.
Exhibit A. "The
Accidental Husband" is about as charming as
a hoodie with all the panache and style thereof.
Obviously, we kept such opinions to ourselves when we
managed to get in the same room as the colossal star -
it was like looking in to the eyes of Aurora herself.
And here, to my right, she resides.
And that's the whole kit and kaboodle for another week
but before I do the 'one' I would like to leave you with
a sparkly new trailer...and so that's what I'll do. So
try a touch of "Never
Back Down" on for size - yes, that's right -
angry teens fighting each other whilst pondering
existential dilemmas, it's like "Dawson's Creek" on
crack...and slightly less aggressive.
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FRIDAY, 22 FEBRUARY 2008
MyMovies.Net Update
Hello my movie minions! Ah ha - I'm back and giving it
'some' with the MyMovies Update, the sordid weekly
retelling of my exploits in film land. So, for fear of
my inane witticisms blighting this article further,
let's get to it.
 The
Blue Oyster Cult quite rightly once said; "Don't Fear
the Reaper" - and ever since this earnest call to arms I
have endeavoured to live my life thusly...a life
according to the Cult you might say. But there is one
thing this erstwhile young writer fears and that's
John Rambo...well, more specifically
Sylvester Stallone....and I mean a 60-year
old Sly Stallone who looks like he's been dipped in
plastic - a giant action figure if you will reanimated
by some ungodly force of nature and sent to terrorise my
fragile state of being. Despite my phobia of The Sly, I
steadied my nerve and braved the brisk London night for
a spot of Red Carpet jostling. And, because I'm that
sort of guy (the twisted and vindictive kind), here is
said Premiere in all of it's 'glory'.
 A
member of the fairer sex once called me 'funny', my
elation was such that I almost touched that rarest of
all human realms - euphoria, and all seemed well until
she added the cutting word 'looking' promptly followed
up by 'please can you adhere to the terms and
conditions of the restraining order with which you were
served...now please go away you petty little man'. She
may have had a point. Anyway, I actually got to meet
someone genuinely funny in the cuddly form of one
Mr. Jack Black. The rotund japester was on
hand to discuss his latest offbeat comedy "Be
Kind Rewind". Please direct your gaze to
yonder picture.
Now - for the moment you've all been waiting for! The
end of this blog! But before we get to the business end
of things I thought I would bestow upon thee a troika of
trailers fresh from the filmic oven. We've got
Kiera Knightley all dressed up once more,
Hayden Christensen in a spot of bother on
the operating table and a bunch of
suffling old-skool zombies! Yay! Now put all
three of those things in one movie and then we can
deal!!!!
TUESDAY, 19 FEBRUARY 2008
MyMovies.Net Update
Hi there my much maligned movie-going friends! Yes, like
it or not, I'm back and bestowing upon thee a plethora
of cinematic treats garnered from my travels.
 And
on the horizon this week, like a marauding Box Office
Kraken, is the flight-risk "Jumper".
Doug Liman, the director who's all about the
blending of mild mannered character pieces with
balls-out actioners (see for instance "The
Bourne Identity"), is back back back with
this sci-fi outing based on the popular Steven Gould
series of novels. "Jumper"
sees a smug git dressed in a big coat jumping all about
the place whilst chased by shady agents or Paladins. So
"The Matrix" then with slightly less Kung-Fu? Ah,
if only. No "Jumper"
has fared decidedly less well with the critics but
honestly it's hard to care when the lovely
Rachel Bilson pops up mid-way in to
proceedings. And, lo and behold, I managed to chat to "The
OC" star about her latest role - yes, the quivering
drooling wreck interrogating the pint-sized
princess......yours truly.
 Very
few mortals can compare to the perfect poppet that is
Miss Bilson but the legendary
Morgan Freeman comes mighty close! He's
starring alongside
Jack Nicholson in the risable "The
Bucket List" - a buddy comedy about two
terminally ill men who set off on an adventure to tick
off everything they have always wanted to do before they
kick the proverbial 'bucket' - a laugh riot right? Well,
it's not all bad and it actually veers on the 'quite
touching' and speaking of touching I managed to shake
the hand of the mighty Freeman to discuss his work on
this one (and I have yet to wash said paw!!!)
Well, exciting stuff no? What?! You want more?!!!! Well
by means of a fond farewell and a 'see you next time' I
shall leave you in the capable hands of "Speed
Racer", "Hellboy
II" and "Indiana
Jones" (I know, I haven't heard of the last
one either but it may prove to be an underground hit)...
THURSDAY, 7 FEBRUARY 2008
MyMovies.Net Update
Bosh! Welcome back to my weekly blog and now that you’re
here you’re stuck with my verbal barrage of all the
things going on in the filmic flotsam and jetsam that is
London (actually, you’re not ‘stuck’ with this blog – at
any time you can navigate away from it – god bless the
interweb!).
 Well,
I’ve been doing the rounds with a few famous faces this
week – one of which is the impossibly handsome (read
smug depending ) visage of Ryan Reynolds. The “Van
Wilder” star has hit something of a pink patch of late
(all this despite the train wreck that was “Blade:
Trinity” – yes, that’s right Reynolds you were
part-responsible for that toilet of a movie!)
culminating in “Definitely,
Maybe”. This Working Title rom-com (c’mon
what else was it going to be?!) sees Reynolds play a dad
having to explain the finer points of his past
relationships to his 11-year old daughter. Sounds like a
hoot no? Actually, this isn’t half bad and we put some
testing questions to Reynolds when we caught up with him
to discuss his latest, testing questions like “so, do
you like the colour blue too?” (hahaha…..I hate myself
right now – rather than endure my rubbish attempts at
comedy why not do yourself a favour and watch the
interview)
 Kicking
up a stink at the Academy (that’s The Motion Picture
Academy NOT The Police Academy a la Steve Guttenburg….wow,
I’m on fire today!) is the knocked-up moppet “Juno”.
Everyone wants a piece “Juno”
be they the critics clamouring over themselves to throw
stars at the indie-comedy or Hollywood big-wigs
reserving little golden-statuettes for director Jason
Reitman’s effort. And to be fair it really is quite
good! And the person who cheese-dreamed this one up is
first-time writer Diablo Cody (Best.Name.Ever!). And I
sent another of my minions off to put the heat on Madame
Cody….and here she is now (for your re ference my minions
are not too dissimilar to the Fighting Uruk-hai of The
Lord of the Rings – fantastic typists and surprisingly
jovial!).
And
finally, if you want something done properly then you
better hire Jerry Bruckheimer who will ‘do’ the $*&! out
of it! Yep, Mr. J. Bruckheimer, uber-producer and
co-inventor of the high-concept, is back with “National
Treasure: Book of Secrets” – a sequel that
no one really wanted but a sequel that nonetheless made
a ton of money at the US Box Office! There’s simply no
accounting for taste. NT2 is as redundant as it gets but
if you fancy seeing Emperor Bruckheimer wax lyrical
about it be my guest. Until next time my movie cohorts…
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